Resolutions

I don't normally make New Year's resolutions. I make birthday year resolutions instead (for example, I'm halfway done training for the half-marathon, and I know where I'm going to take a salsa class...trapeze is pending other things). 

This year, though, I am making this resolution. It's in my journal, but some things are good to make public so other people remind you of 'em.  ;-)

I will live in reality, no matter how unpleasant. I will face the future--maybe not head-on all the time, but at least not running away. I will dream of paradise, but not daydream to escape to it. I will remember that to live with skin on is to be susceptible to scrapes and scratches, but it's also the only way to be hugged. 

That's all.

Mid-life crisis resolutions

I've made a few resolutions: things that i want to accomplish, barring Force Majeure and stuff like that, before i turn 35. In no particular order, including things that were on the list but have since been removed:

1. Run a half marathon.
I ran a 1/4 mile the other day while walking with my parents (5 miles covered total). I ran 6/10 of a mile yesterday. Got a ways to go, but the goal is 5k by April, 10k by October, and 13.1 miles by next March.

I used to hate running. I ran cross country two years in high school: i was the slowest member of the team, and i had horrid, horrid shinsplints both seasons. However, a team needed 5 people to not forfeit a match. I was the fifth girl. I finished every race i was in, even if it did take me (what is quite possibly a record) 41 minutes to go 3 miles. ;-) But now, my body kinda does what i want it to and i kinda like running. Here's hoping.

2. Learn how to fly the trapeze.
For no other reason than because i am afraid of heights, and because it has been the metaphor for my life lately.

3. Learn Spanish.
I don't expect to be fluent in 13 months, but to be making progress, which means to be able to do more than order one item off a menu and to not stare blankly in panic when they respond by asking me, in Spanish, if i want chicken or beef. :)

4. I was going to grow dreadlocks...
...because my hair had been unmanageable lately, and nothing makes me feel as physically unlovely as unmanageable hair. I was going to grow narrow, uniformly shaped ones, clean and tidy like Anne Lamott's. The most conservative of my church-lady friends thought it was a cool idea. The rest of my friends, church and forest and design, talked me out of it. The result is that it is going to stay its wild self. I'm not going to dye it. I'm probably not going to plait it either. I'm just going to watch it go silver and smile.

5. And i also thought of getting a tatoo...
...one that wouldn't be visible ever, except at the beach. One that wouldn't be in danger of pregancy or any other stretch marks. One that wouldn't be much exposed to sun or fading. But i hate needles (more than i fear heights), and they are awfully permanent...and expensive. So, this one is also scratched. For now.

I'll start writing more legibly, i promise.

I’m working on illustrative maps for a historic housing development near Los Angeles. It’s not artistically challenging: pretty much involves digitally tracing scans of the original as-built blueprints, and color coding plant material as specified by little numbers on the as-builts. I’ve learned a lot by tracing the work of a practically forgotten master landscape architect.
The last set of drawings has changes scribbled all over, trees scratched out, new numbers hastily written without proper erasure, and it’s driving me crazy. Is that a 4 marked over a 9? Or a 9 marked over a 4? Or a 6 scribbled over a 5? I bet Fred Barlow Jr. never expected his work to be on the National Register. I bet he never thought someone would be studying it in preparation for a restoration plan. I’ve nigh lost my vision and pulled out my hair trying to decipher some of the lines and material notations.

I don’t expect to design permanent, lasting gardens at this phase of my career. I hope to be a master designer someday, and to be an expert plantswoman. Some of Barlow’s favorite plants are invasive here in Southern California, so even he didn’t necessary make perfect plant material choices in this landmark design. But by golly, I’ve learned a lesson here: write legibly in the final drawing. Erase things completely. Correct the key. And for that measure, place the key on the plan, because this one has been lost.