My not-so-little brother is in town for the week and it's nice to have him around. He makes great dinners on the grill, buys decent beer, treated me to coffee, and convinced me to try smoking a cigar.
He did not make a convert.
He's a pilot. The life of a pilot is not all glam--he's had to move several times in the past three years, shared houses with several people and welcomed others who use his place as an occasional crash pad, and now he's on reserve for many years to come (that's if his airline stays in business during this economic whatever-it-is). Being on reserve means a completely unpredictable schedule. Believe me, having been a substitute teacher, an unpredictable schedule makes having any sort of life nigh impossible. He had a nice little life before upgrading to captain, plus people with whom he enjoys having a life.
We were talking the other day as he drove me home from our parents' house about how we're both feeling an urge to bolt. One point in his favor about a pilot's life vs. a grad student's life: he can request a base change and move while keeping his job. He probably won't, but if the draining situation in which he finds himself becomes more than he wants to handle, he does have an escape route and, he says, little to bind him to the place. I, on the other hand, know i am supposed to be here for now, but i sure am fighting a desire to bolt. I'm not sure Italy can come soon enough!
Someone asked me the other day if i was planning to go back to Africa as a landscape architect. When i got home, i realized my reply was sorely lacking something along the lines of the Book of Esther: God was implied (from my side) but i didn't overtly mention Him. I should have. My reply was: i'm not planning anything. I'm open to it, but i'm not planning. I thought i knew what i wanted my life to look like, and while it was right for a time, i was wrong about having that be the rest of my life. Did i misread what God wanted me to do? Maybe. Maybe not.
So, i am not planning my future, but i am listening and watching my feet. I don't really want to see more than a few footsteps ahead right now; i don't really want to know what is coming and i doubt i'd get the picture anyway. A responsible life--do justly. love mercy. walk humbly with my God.--that should be enough preparation for whatever is to come, i think. Here is where i am, and where i belong, for now. I am a graduate student. I have two years left.
So why do i want to run away so much?
Monday, June 16, 2008
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birding life list (in process!)
- White-crowned Sparrow (Zonotrichia ?) in winter
- Western Wood-Pewee (Contopu sordidulus)
- Western Tanager (Piranga ludoviciana)
- Western Scrub Jay (Aphelocoma californica)
- Western Bluebird (Sialia mexicana)
- Tufted Titmouse (Baeolophus bicolor)
- Stellar's Jay (Cyanocitta stelleri)
- Sparkling Violetear (Colibri coruscans)
- Snowy Owl (Nyctea scandiaca)
- Snowy Egret (Egretta thula)
- Ruddy Duck (Oxyura jamaicensis)
- Red-winged Blackbird (Agelaius phoeniceus)
- Red-tailed Hawk (Buteo jamaicensis)
- Pied Crow (Corvus albus)
- Northern Mockingbird (Mimus polyglottos)
- Northern Cardinal (Cardinalis cardinalis)
- Mourning Dove (Zenaida macroura)
- Mallard (Anas platyrhynochos)
- male Superb Sunbird (Cinnyris superbus) i think
- Malachite Kingfisher (Alcedo cristata)
- Lesser Goldfinch, greenbacked (Carduelis psaltria)
- Lazuli Bunting (Passerina amoena)
- Indigo Bunting (Passerina cyanea)
- House Finch (Carpodacus mexicanus)
- Hooded Oriole (Icterus cucullatus nelsoni)
- Greater Roadrunner (Geococcyx califorianus)
- Great Horned Owl (Bubo virginianus)
- Great Blue Heron (Ardea herodias)
- Congo African Grey (Psittacus erithacus erithacus)
- Common Garden Bulbul (Pychonotus barbatus)
- Cinnamon Teal (Anas cyanoptera)
- Cattle Egret (Bubulcus ibis)
- Canada Goose (Branta canadensis)
- California Towhee, juvenile (Pipilo crissalis)
- California Thrasher (Toxostoma redivivum)
- Brown Pelican (Pelecanus occidentalis)
- Blue Jay (Cyanocitta cristata)
- Black-crowned Night-Heron (Nycticorax nycticorax)
- Black-capped Chickadee (Poecile atricapillus)
- Black Phoebe (Sayornis nigricans)
- Black Crowned Waxbill (Estralida nonnula)
- Bald Eagle (Haliaeetus leucocephalus)
- Anna's Hummingbird (Calypte anna)
- American Robin (Turdus migratorius)
- American Kestrel (Falco sparverius)
- American Goldfinch (Carduelis tristis)
- American Coot (Fulica americana)
- American Avocet (Recurvirostra americana)
- African Pygmy-Kingfisher (Ispidina picta)
- Acorn Woodpecker (Melanerpes formicivorus)
4 comments:
I don't think you misread what God wanted in your life at all. (I don't think you think that either.) I can definitely identify with the one step at a time feeling and lifestyle. It's exciting to think about the future sometimes, but I try not to make plans - because he always changes them anyway. :) I think you are where you are supposed to be, and when you are supposed to be somewhere else, your feet will move because he moves them (I like that, watching your feet). :)
P.S. it's funny, here is the first place I have ever been that I did NOT want to bolt. :) And now I am.
Life is a series of seasons. I think the church body tends to think, "Once a co-laborer, always a co-laborer!" and question a person when that season is over. But really, how would we react if it were suddenly always winter? Or always spring? Life changes...
Ja, i think that may be true. It isn't just church people who ask though--and, to be fair, i do think a lot of it is simply making conversation. I was there, it naturally follows to ask if i'll go back. :) Hard to know sometimes what the question means: i think there's a little of both.
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