I will not elope

I used to say i wanted to elope. Quite recently, in fact, i made that comment. I don't mean it, though, at least not in the sense i guess most people take it to mean: dissing the families and thumbing noses at convention while giddily absorbed in the temporary insanity that passes for love. To paraphrase Benedict in Much Ado About Nothing, when i said i wanted to elope, i didn't really think i will ever get married. And if i do marry, i mean i don't want hoopla. My brother tried to have a simple wedding and it was NOT. It was lovely. It was not simple. My grandparents eloped: my grandfather was just out of the army, they didn't have the money for a ceremony and pre-marital counseling wasn't the thing, so off they went to Nevada. (Note: not Vegas). Funnily enough, my step-grandmother and her first husband also eloped and for similar reasons. All was well when they returned. No hard feelings. Happily ever after until death did them part.

Today's wedding was nice and sweet. The bride and groom are a lovely couple and relatively low-key: no bridezilla here. (Nor bridesmaidzilla, which i have also seen!) The photographer even remarked that in 25 years of shooting weddings, he's never had such a cooperative bridal party. It was still more work than i'd like, if i ever have a wedding. Coordinating music, being on stage as me and not as an actress, getting the flowers there, explaining directions to an...interesting...limo driver, coaxing a small boy in a tux to walk down the aisle with his sister and to not swing the pillow, finding out that the brother had accidentally taken the best man's boutonnière--things like that are not my cup of tea. I don't want a wedding.

But, i don't really want to elope either.

Fortunately, there is no need as of yet to solve this dilemma.